All posts by Escaping Finlandia

Escaping Finlandia is a personal account of a never-ending journey, the path to enlightenment, self-awareness, and a good life.

My Thoughts On Dr. Jordan Peterson

I wrote this specifically about Jordan and things Ive noticed. But it underlines a bigger issue that remains unchecked, in which the radical left deems anyone who thinks other than them, a racist, homophobe, sexist, you name it.

For the past 5 years this has been there go to tactic to discredit and deplatform those who think otherwise than them. For the past 5 years I’ve warned people about this sort of thing, how dangerous a precedent it sets. Sure enough we only see it get worse, just as I said it would.

Its ironic, the only reason I know about Peterson is because of the people who hate him. Back when Charlie Hunnam said he likes Jordan Peterson, everyone had a hissy fit, its what made me look into Jordan. I write about the Charlie hunnam connection in the article but I forgot to point out the underlying issue of that whole scenario(like I need to point this shit out). Buts it like, you cant even mention a slither of support for someone like Peterson (or trump) without being labeled the worst of the worst. Its all part of a much larger issue.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/actor-charlie-hunnam-sparks-outcry-revealing-hes-big-fan-mens-rights-figure-jordan-peterson-183447232.html

I would implore people to watch this video of Jon Stewart and really listen to what hes saying.

This video is something I live on a daily basis.

Jordan Bernt Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. He began to receive widespread attention in the late 2010s for his views on cultural and political issues.

It probably took longer than it should have for Jordan Peterson to pop up on my radar, I’ve only come to know about him in the past few years.

The first time I heard his name, was a few years back in a interview with Charlie Hunnam, and he said something along the lines of, “I think the work that Dr. Jordan Peterson is doing is incredibly important” or something like that. I remember reading comments and people were losing their shit that their beloved Charlie Hunnam supported a racist, homophobe, misogynist, etc you get the point. As a fan of Charlie Hunnam, I couldn’t believe this, I had to find out more about this racist piece of shit that one of my favorite actors supports.

Well, no surprise, when I found out this is yet another case of baseless attacks from the radical left. I found this man to be incredibly intelligent, caring, patient, understanding, and just all around actually cares and gives a dam about what he believes in.

I figured out pretty quickly after watching a few videos what Jordan was about and what he stood for, he couldn’t be anything further from what these people were labeling him as(we see this far too often now, its a problem). So over the years I would listen and watch his videos and debates and as time went on I found it harder and harder to believe that there are actually people that disagree and want to argue about what this man says. I began to see a pattern, especially in his debates, which I talk about below, but I began to see patterns and similarities everywhere, the similarities between this man and trump, the similarities in the way the radical left treat anyone who thinks outside their bubble, the similarities in radical and ridiculous thought process of all radical leftest, just so much, it seems now a days everything can be connected to one another in some way shape or form.

I find Jordan Peterson, and the situation he finds himself in, time and time again, fascinating.

He embodies intelligence in the rarest form, common sense. Of course he is a doctor, professor, scholar, psychologist, blah blah blah, summed up, he has a crazy amount of book smart, insanely intelligent. But that doesn’t matter as much to me, as there are plenty of people with a whole lot of book smarts, but they’re sill dumb as hell, lacking common sense. I see common sense as the most important type of intelligence, especially in this day of age where there seems so little of it around.

I watch his debates, and they’re not really debates, its just a time period of someone throwing false accusations at Jordan and he has to spend his time correcting them on something he said. No real discussion ever happens, and if so, it’s rare.

I find it incredibly frustrating, to watch this man, try only to help people while spreading some common sense, and be met with such aggressive response and false accusations.

You can see his frustration as well, but he handles it so much better than any of us would, hes always patient, calm, never interrupts, never uses personal attacks, he thinks about what hes going to say. (Even if you don’t like the man, you have to admire these traits in a time such as this)

Its just quite refreshing to see someone like him get as much attention as he gets when people all around him are being deplatformed and silenced, I wouldn’t be surprised if they come for him soon.

I think what I and millions others find fascinating about him, is; his thoughts and viewpoints as well as the situation he finds himself in echos so very well what everyday people like you and me who disagree with the radical left have to go thru, on a daily basis. We get absurd and false accusations thrown at us, taking conversations away from issues and to the defense of ones character, which in more cases than not, had no merit to be in question in the first place. So Jordan is yet another in a long line of examples of how the radical left can damage someones reputation with no merit, it’s dangerous and has gone unchecked and continues to go unchecked, its only going to get worse, something Jordan himself speaks of.

He just showcases frustration when discussing topics with people that hold radical left views so well, you watch him in awe that he hasn’t lost his shit yet. Thats what I admire most about him, hes calm and collect, where as I would be screaming profanities and just not have the time or energy to try and teach someone common sense.

Its just something I wanted to comment on, after watching him, trump, and many others for the past 4 years be called everything in the book with no merit, I feel bad for Jordan Peterson, that he has to deal with what he has to, it probably weighs on him. When you see him in an interview where his views are not being attacked, take his interview with comedian Theo Von for example, he is a totally different person, a normal person, that likes to laugh and share stories, just like you and me, I wish he could have more of that in his life and less of this stress but I admire him for doing this work, as I feel its incredibly important and there should be more people like Jordan. Another similarity with this man and trump about interviews, go watch the Barstool Sports interview with Trump, he’s a totally different person when not being attacked for his views 24/7.

I’m trying to learn as much as I can from this man. He is a person of character I cant even begin to describe. I’m trying to be better about being more civil, understanding, empathetic, more caring, not that I believe I lack any of these things, but we can and must always strive for being better.

Here’s some of Jordan’s Videos:

Look you don’t have to agree with everything or anything for that matter, but dont simply label people these horrible things because they think differently then you do. Thats a horrible way to go about this. It also takes weight away from those words, now when I hear someone is racist, i roll my eyes, its like the boy who cried wolf. Its getting old, and shows a lack of intelligence in my opinion.

Fuck Zoom, Discord is what should have blown up

So with the coronavirus we have seen many companies making masks, and changing up their marketing campaigns focusing on making life easier during the pandemic.

Zoom, which replaced Skype even before the pandemic, blew the fuck up during this whole thing. People were referring it as the unsung hero of 2020 for helping us keep connected.

I CALL HORSE SHIT.

Fuck Zoom.

Discord should have been the app that blew up as the main app keeping us connected.

Now I might be a little biased as a gamer and creator that uses this app for many things.

BUT, you cant deny the power behind Discord, compared to that of Zoom which is super basic.

You can do everything with Discord that you can with Zoom and so much more, creating communities built around specific servers that house text channels, voice channels, video calls with screen sharing capabilities etc. With a better system and UI interface, it a no brainer people.

Thats just my random 2 cents on this random matter, but it just makes me mad lol, fuck zoom. Find me on discord lol.

Discord is my unsung hero for many reasons,

Extremely powerful tool
Full of Communities
Its not just a platform you use with your friends and family, you meet new people
You make connections
Depending on your profession, you can use the app to make a lot of money
Better than zoom, fuck zoom

Don’t Get It Twisted | Political Nonsense

Addressing messages and comments I have received since pointing out media bias on the DC Riots.

I see everyone getting what I and other have said SO twisted. Its not surprising, there’s not much critical thinking left, or maybe their doing it purposely to try and fit a narrative that supports their arguments. I’m going to break it down.

We are not condoning the behavior of the terrorists in whats being referred to as “The DC Riots”. In fact if you looked at any Right Reporting News publications, the vast majority of the right were calling these people the same names they called the BLM terrorists; thugs, despicable human beings, terrorists, etc.

A STARK CONTRAST, to what we saw from left reporting news publications calling the riots “protests” and “mostly peaceful” as private businesses burned in the background. It wasn’t until months of this going on and it was hurting Joe in polls that he came out and said he didn’t agree with what was going on. Months, meanwhile the right is condemning these actions as they are happening.

So as I take my time to point out the hypocrisy of both sides, I have to focus on whose being hypocritical at the moment, which is overwhelming the left side. The right is not changing how they feel or talk about violent protestors, aka terrorists, the left is. Only because they are now trump supporters.

We agree with you guys 100%, we are just wondering where the fuck you were during the 6 months of riots and private businesses burning to the ground, it would have been nice for you guys to be as vocal as you are now back then.

I and others are not comparing this to the BLM riots, we are comparing the coverage of the two events, we are simply pointing out your inconsistencies, and the fact you fail to acknowledge they even exists is a huge problem. This is just another example in a long line of examples showcasing what I’m speaking about.

If you cannot see the threat that this poses, then as Kenobi said, we are lost.

My Political Views(before you judge): Evan Beale’s Political Views
The Truth: The Trump File

Captains Log 011: 2021 Gonna Be The Year

I have a lot of things planned for next year, and if the coronavirus chills the fuck out, imma have a lot a lot coming out in 2021, its gonna be my busiest year yet.

Artist Connect is back up and running, I am working hard on getting black book going the way I want it, its going to take time.

Evan Reviews Everything has been uploading some videos exclusively to Facebook first for at least a day and then uploaded to my Dopely Diverse Youtube Channel a few days later.

I am working on the 2021 face lift for the ERE page as well as other pages, expect new stuff!

I have been picking up clients more and more so I been busy behind the scenes without producing as much as my own content as I would like to. But hey if we making money, we happy, lol.

We just dropped more merchandise in the all the shops; ex, ex, ex.

I have so much in the pipeline that I cant wait to share.

Peace and much love in these worrisome times.

Evan Beale’s Political Views

Why am i Making this post?

A few years ago I wouldn’t have felt the need to write this out, but times are crazy.

We live in a time where you have to watch what you say, you can’t have open discussion it seems. When you try, you run the very high risk of being labeled a whole slew of things that just aren’t true to your character.

Since Trump took office we have seen a massive shift not only in the political landscape but just life in general it seems.

Nowadays the discussion is taken away from the real issues and more times than not you have to defend your character as you are falsely labeled something horrible.

I got tired of repeating myself. I think we all agree on more than we disagree on.

Below is what I believe, and to me it is nothing but common sense. You can disagree if you like, I wont hate you, I wont unfriend you, I wont block you, none of that, but I do have to question how one could disagree. I love to have real discussions, so if you have a different view I would love to hear about it and discuss. peace.

A perfect world

Corruption needs to leave politics. Easier said than done, but let’s just imagine it’s a perfect world. Boom we got rid of all the corruption and money in politics. No more special interest groups, no more lobbying, no more back room deals, no more favors, no more fighting for power.

In this perfect world the government is there only to do what it’s meant to do, work for the American people. There would be term limits. The government wouldn’t be divided into two parties and in constant grid lock.

General ideas/

Beliefs

I want every American to have the same rights and freedoms, no matter your gender, race, sexual orientation, or anything else.

No hate groups. Common Sense Laws & Enforcements.

I think healthcare & education should be affordable. While Government can offer assistances, I think we have seen time and time again that the private sector proves to be more efficient in all areas of these matters. If you see how the VA is currently ran you would agree. Government wastes far too much money, the spending goes up while the quality of service goes down.

I think women should have final say over what happens to their bodies. Funding to Planned Parenthood. Pro Choice.

I think we should allow stem cell treatments in the U.S and fund that area dramatically.

I want people to come here legally, that being said there shouldn’t be a years long waiting list, if its taking that long, its only just another reminder of how inept government is at running the show. We need border security.

Everyone other than violent felons and mentally unstable should have the right to bear arms. Pro Common Sense Gun Laws.

I think we should have a strong military and be ready for anything, but I dont think we should be as involved in other countries as we are, we should be like Canada and just chill, but we can still help out of course, but I make a strong emphasis on helping our own first as we have people we need to take care of.

We need to take care of vets, homeless, poor and hungry, in a place that wastes so much food, there is no doubt better systems and programs we can put into place where no one needs to go hungry.

I think the tax code should be simplified. In a perfect world, income tax would be gone, and tax would only exist on usage and goods. If there must be an income tax, in my eyes, the fairest way to go about this would be a flat tax rate. We don’t want to tax the American Dream.

I think marijuana should be legalized, the revenue it would create could be used for numerous things.

I think people should not be fined and jailed for drug use, but required to complete drug classes.

I believe in smaller government, bigger private sector with less government oversight. More power to state level government, federal upholds united front, constitutional law and order, utilities.

yes/no q&a on specific issues

Social Issues

Do you support the legalization of same sex marriage? Yes.

Should gay couples have the same adoption rights as straight couples? Yes.

What is your stance on abortion? Pro Choice.

Should the government continue to fund Planned Parenthood? Yes.

Should marital rape be classified and punished as severely as non-marital rape? Yes.

Should a business be able to deny service to a customer if the request conflicts with the owner’s religious beliefs? Yes.

Should the federal government institute a mandatory buyback of assault weapons? No.

Should the federal government require racial sensitivity training for employees? Depends what that looks like.

Should states be allowed to display the Confederate flag on government property? Not on Government Property No.

Should health insurance providers be required to offer free birth control? Yes.

Should transgender athletes be allowed to compete in athletic events? No, anyone trans needs to compete in their birth gender league.

Should “gender identity” be added to anti-discrimination laws? Yes.

Do you support the death penalty? Yes.

Should the military allow women to serve in combat roles? yes.

Should universities provide “trigger warnings” and “safe spaces” for students? No.

Should businesses be required to have women on their board of directors? No.

Should hate speech be protected by the first amendment? Yes. But needs to be clear hate speech.

Should the government support a separation of church and state by removing references to God? Yes.

Should women be allowed to wear a Niqāb, or face veil, to civic ceremonies? Yes.

Should terminally ill patients be allowed to end their lives via assisted suicide? Yes.

Healthcare Issues

Should the federal government require people to wear face masks in public during the COVID pandemic? No. Should be Encouraged Tho, Left up to states.

Should health insurers be allowed to deny coverage to individuals who have a pre-existing condition? No.

Should the government regulate the prices of life-saving drugs? No.

Should the government increase funding for mental health research and treatment? Yes.

Do you support the legalization of Marijuana? Yes.

Do you support the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Obamacare)? No.

Should the federal government increase funding of health care for low income individuals (Medicaid)? Yes.

Do you support a single-payer healthcare system? No.

Should people be required to work in order to receive Medicaid? No.

Should the government fund the World Health Organization? Yes, fair share.

Should cities open drug “safe havens” where people who are addicted to illegal drugs can use them? Decriminalized.

Should there be more or less privatization of veterans’ healthcare? More

Domestic Policy Issues

Should there be more restrictions on the current process of purchasing a gun? Common Sense Gun Laws

Should the President of the United States have the power to deploy military troops in order to stop protests? If Violent, then yes.

Should the state government order schools to provide online only classes in order to combat coronavirus? No.

Are you in favor of decriminalizing drug use? yes.

Should teachers be allowed to carry guns at school? No, But there could be locked up guns in class rooms.

Should there be term limits set for members of Congress? Yes.

Should local police increase surveillance and patrol of Muslim neighborhoods? No.

Should the redrawing of Congressional districts be controlled by an independent, non-partisan commission? What does that look like?

Should internet service providers be allowed to speed up access to popular websites (that pay higher rates) ? No.

Should the Supreme Court be reformed to include more seats and term limits on judges? Yes.

Should the NSA (National Security Agency) be allowed to collect basic metadata of citizen’s phone calls? Yes and no.

Should people on the “no-fly list” be banned from purchasing guns and ammunition? yes.

Do you support affirmative action programs? I dont believe in quotas of that nature. Judgement of Character Determines how the dominos fall.

Should the government regulate social media sites, as a means to prevent fake news and misinformation? No.

Should it be illegal to burn the American flag? yes.

Do you support the Patriot Act? Yes and No.

Should the government pass laws which protect whistleblowers? For illegal behavior, anything else is treason.

Should victims of gun violence be allowed to sue firearms dealers and manufacturers? No.

Should the government be allowed to seize private property, with reasonable compensation, for public? No.

Should the government raise the retirement age for Social Security? no.

Should social media companies ban political advertising? no.

Should college sports be played in the fall of 2020? Sure.

Should the U.S. government grant immunity to Edward Snowden? yes.

Should the military upgrade Air Force One? yes.

Economic Issues

Should employers be required to pay men and women the same salary for the same job? Yes.

Should the U.S. raise taxes on the rich? no.

Should the government raise the federal minimum wage? Yes

Should businesses be required to provide paid leave for full-time employees during the birth of a child? No.

Should the government make cuts to public spending in order to reduce the national debt? Yes

Should the government use economic stimulus to aid the country during times of recession? yes.

Should welfare recipients be tested for drugs? No.

Should there be fewer or more restrictions on current welfare benefits?

Should the U.S. raise or lower the tax rate for corporations? lower.

Do you support a universal basic income program? No.

Should the IRS create a free electronic tax filing system? yes.

Should the government require businesses to pay salaried employees, making up to $46k/year, time-and-a-half for overtime hours? Yes.

Should the government prevent “mega mergers” of corporations that could potentially control a large percentage of market share within its industry? yes and no.

Should the government increase the tax rate on profits earned from the sale of stocks, bonds, and real Estate? Yes.

Should the Federal Reserve Bank be audited by Congress? yes.

Should the government break up Amazon, Facebook and Google? No.

Do you believe labor unions help or hurt the economy? both.

Should the President offer tax breaks to individual companies to keep jobs in the U.S.? yes.

Should the U.S. increase tariffs on imported products from China? Yes.

Should the current estate tax rate be decreased? Yes.

Should the U.S. continue to participate in the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA)? Trumps Replacement deal.

Should the government acquire equity stakes in companies it bails out during a recession? No bail outs.

Should the government subsidize farmers? Yes.

Should U.S. citizens be allowed to save or invest their money in offshore bank accounts? Yes.

Would you favor an increased sales tax in order to reduce property taxes? Yes.

Should pension plans for federal, state, and local government workers be transitioned into privatel? Optional.

Should the government add or increase tariffs on products imported into the country? Yes.

Should pension payments be increased for retired government workers? No

Should an in-state sales tax apply to online purchases of in-state buyers from out-of-state sellers? Yes.

Do you support the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP)? To an extent.

Should the government classify Bitcoin as a legal currency? Yes and no.

Captains Log: 010 – Timers are helping me

Things are still crazy here in 2020, the election still has people anxious. Personally, I have kept my head down and stayed in doors since theres nothing to do.

The current covid situation has given me time to draw more, and trust me when I say I could use the practice. Its hard to set time aside normally for such things, but I always forget how much you can actually get done in a short amount of time. Even if I set a timer for 5 min, 10 min, 20 min, and just go I’m always surprised how much I can accomplish.

Utilizing timers is something I have found to be very beneficial to me, sometimes I think of tasks as taking longer than they actually do, I think “aw man I gotta write this blog, thats gonna take hours” which is absurd, cuz it doesn’t take that long, I mean it could but you get my drift. Never the less, I have found these absurd thoughts are perhaps my excuse to procrastinate. So I have found Its much easier, for me at least, it seems, to set small pockets of time aside and set the timer. I find if I set a 5 min timer and just write away for a blog I almost have the thing done, then I’m like shit, just another 5 mins.

It gives me a different more realistic time management and understanding for these tasks. Just something I wanted to share, im always doing 100 tasks at once, so some times its nice to dedicate small amounts of time to certain tasks so you can be sure everything that needs to be done is getting done.

Not much is new on the site here. I have launched new product in my dopely threaded store, it would be dope of you to go and buy some drip lol.

Make sure to follow the YouTube, im always adding content there. Been working on a lot of video content, for myself and others, love to get your thoughts on it!

Still working away on all my brands, working on getting artist connect back up and running, but it takes a lot of work, but its something I really believe in, so im getting it going, should be back up very soon.

Thanks for checking in fam, hope you all are well.

Reporting in after the coronavirus lockdown

2020 has been one hell of a ride, and it’s not even over yet, but soon my friends. As with everything, this too shall pass.

I remember at the beginning of the year I had so many things I wanted to do, traveling, new food spots, festivals, all sorts of things, and then coronavirus came and shit all over that for me and everyone else.

So since march I’ve held my head down, rarely left my house, got a little fatter, enjoyed some awesome new shows, tidy some files up, continued on client work, got new clients, played video games, and organized the studio with some new upgrades.

Not too much has changed for me, working from home is a luxury that I appreciate everyday, but even more so in all of this coronavirus nonsense. But I hate that everything is closed down, nothing to do but keep your head down and get some work done, what ever that may be.

I been trying to get back into everything of sorts lol. Been drawing more, ive been working on more abstract digital artwork again which I have always loved but took a bit of a break from it.

Im starting to write more even if it wasn’t evident from this blog, working on a few new stories and creative projects, but take this post as a sign of more to come thanks to me taking a few extra min to sit down and write.

Starting to write scenes for a cartoon I want to eventually create. Who knows when that will come to fruition, could be some time.

I just posted a new episode of the podcast to the YouTube channel, New videos are always being uploaded so make sure you subscribe to the page so you dont miss anything!

I will be updating the Evan reviews everything page very soon, as well as uploading the new reviews you can only find on Facebook right now to the YouTube page.

As always lots happening working on lots in the background, trying to get artist connect back up and running, really need to push for it. Had some set backs when I tried to laugh blackbook, I think I need to take it back to the roots for now until I figure out how to deal with all the spam users. stay tuned for that.

As always stay tuned for everything, thanks for following, thanks for reading, evdog out.

2020 IS A BUST

008

I just realized there hasn’t been a new post on here for a while, and when I come to check when the last CAPTAINS LOG I typed out was at the beginning of 2020, and my oh my, how much optimism I had for this year.

By now, we all know this year is a bust. Dont get me wrong, its perfect for me, I work from home anyway, but still, everything cancelled and shutdown, it really blows.

Ive pretty much wrapped up this whole year as a bust.

But again, I suppose its nice to have this time to hunker down and get shit done on my super long checklist.

Ive been slowly and steadily upgrading my studio, once the next few items come in ill be done with the upgrades for this year so I will make a 2021 Studio Walkthrough video even though the year isn’t over.

I haven’t been able to crank out many EVAN REVIEWS EVERYTHING cuz as we have stated everything is closed down! It really sucks, I want some food!! I will be updating the EVAN REVIEWS EVERYTHING homepage very soon here…

More content is constantly coming to the YouTube channel, make sure you are following me there!

Ive updated a few pages around here, my twitch portfolio for one, go check it out!

In the meantime, im working on all my content, and my sites, including this one, getting ready to revamp ARTIST CONNECT, cant wait!

Stay Tuned,

Evan Beale

*THANKS FOR FOLLOWING AND READING

Drunk Driving has taken TOO MANY LIVES

This was an old post of mine from a few years back when i was going through some trouble, important to note I still no longer drink and drive.

For people that know me. its no secret I”m an alcoholic. I’m sober as of now and would like to share some thoughts.

I had my first class of impaired driving tonight. It was nothing that I expected. It was very heavy. It really made me think. They showed us fucked up videos and told us and shared really fucked up stories. Ive thought about this before, but tonight i shared my thoughts in a group and it was really one of the first times i have said these things out loud. And it really just hit me.
I’m incredibly lucky or blessed. what ever you wanna call it.

But there have been countless times that i could have killed many people on many different occasions, all due to drunk driving. Its something I’m not proud of and never wanted to do, but when you are as big of an alcoholic as i am and drunk all the time, chances are your gonna drive drunk. And I did almost every night. I’m ashamed of it, and I don’t believe alcoholism is a disease, but just a strong addiction, I’m trying to stay better and hopefully i will for everyone’s sake.

When I was 16 I flipped my dads Lincoln into a house and caused 70,000 dollars worth of damage. It was past midnight, but I think had it been earlier when people were awake and not safety sleeping in their beds, they could have been up and around right where i hit. It was a family with three kids, what if one of the kids was getting a late night snack at that instant. I wouldn’t be able to live with my self. I think about this a lot. I cant express how thankful I am that no one was hurt that night.

A few years later I almost hit a person in the middle of the road because I was yet again drunk. They jumped out of the way literally just in time, like milliseconds.

Other situations have happened but it would take too long to literally list all of them, so i will list the most current and move on.

Earlier this year I was dealing with a lot, in the wrong way. I was drunk among other things, and i fell asleep at a red light, I was there in my car with my foot on the break for twenty mins, some how my foot didn’t slip off while there was cross traffic or anything else like that, I could have killed myself or someone else or caused a major accident.

I think about this and how i could live with myself if i had hurt anyone in all these instances, and the only answer i can come up with is, I couldnt. Knowing myself, I know if i ever accidentally ended another humans time on this earth because I WAS DRUNK, I would no doubt kill myself.

I think about this, and it makes me think of my sister, how she lost her life due to an accident not involving alcohol. I think how I could i possibly still be that careless after something like that happened. Well ive always delt with my pain with alcohol. And when i lost her i hit the bottle harder than before, i didn’t care about anything. That is how i could be so careless. But now that i am sober and thinking clearly i realize how dumb i was. I think about the man involved with my sisters crash and how he must feel. I feel for him, I hold no resentment or blame towards him, I feel terrible for him. And alcohol wasn’t involved, i already feel so mad that a stupid car accident that doesn’t make sense that probably could have been avoided ended her life. Then i think about how i would feel if alcohol was involved. and think about people that have lost someone they loved to that situation. A loved one gone, cause someone like me was fuckin stupid, got drunk and drove. something that could have been totally avoided. it breaks my heart.

I think alot about it.

My point is this, I know alot of people, including close friends that drive drunk. I beg you to to please stop. I stopped and never will again. Call an ueber. a ueber ride from fort wayne to albion where i live is 60$ so anywhere in town would no doubt be 20 dollars or less. trust me, even if you do that every night, it will still be far less a price then to pay lawyer fees court fees probation fees ignition starter fees and the hassle and stress that comes along with it all. and god forbid, it would be much less than the ultimate price you could pay, your life, or anothers.

Ive changed and so can you, thinking about all this really gets me down, but i try to stay positive and take one day at a time. No ones perfect. But we can aim to be.

Im not saying be sober.. lol i love to drink to celebrate have fun enjoy myself and to kill the pain.. to each their own if it works it works i aint knocking nobodys way of life im just sayin dont drive

I broke my foot right before I was going to start exercising, dang it.

It is no secret, that I added more than a few pounds to the old whiskey gut over the winter. Now that it has been getting nicer out, I was going to make it a point to get back into skateboarding, maybe start exercising and working out. I’ve been putting the ladder off for some time now. I am not sure if that was on purpose or not, perhaps I let the whole whiskey gut joke go on too long? These are the questions I am now left with.

Anyhow, the day before I was going to start I had an unfortunate accident. The day before, my sober ass mind you, not drunk, completely sober, falls down the stairs and breaks my toes. Fucked them up real good. So was it a sign that I should maybe just keep on keeping on the way I have been? These are the questions I am now left with.

I decided to use this time as a sort of cheat period before I had even gotten started. Now I have an excuse to sit around and be lazy, stuff my face, drink some whiskey, and play video games. So no doubt, no matter how long this last, I’m sure to increase the whiskey gut a few inches out.

This downtime has given me some time to re-focus on some things around here, changes coming, new things coming, you know all that jazz.

Stay safe in this scary time, and don’t run down the stairs otherwise you’ll be fat like me. Thats the real lesson here.